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How to give a gift you’ll both feel great about!
Have you ever felt the pressure of picking the perfect gift, or the anxiety after you’ve given a gift, hoping their reaction was genuine?
Or have you ever given a gift and received a less-than-positive reaction?
If you can relate, either way, you’re in the right place.
Gift-giving is an important aspect of relationships and social connections, and it’s important to ensure your gift is strengthening your relationship, not weakening it.
In this post, you’ll learn how to give the best gift and feel confident about it, and learn why giving gifts can make us happy as well.
You will also learn how to give gifts that not only please the receiver but strengthen whatever relationship you want with one simple gesture!
But why does it matter, you may ask?
Gift-giving
“The process of selecting, transferring and evaluating tangible and intangible objects to fulfill a traditional social obligation or give in a spontaneous manner” (Septianto et al., 2020 p. 1705).
The tradition of gift-giving is not a new concept in our civilization.
Some speculate that gift-giving has been present back to the birth of Jesus and the three wise men.
In fact, humans aren’t the only ones too!
Gift-giving is even practiced among the animal kingdom, where multiple different species, including insects, birds, and mammals have all been observed in the wild practicing this custom.
For our society (and animals too), gift-giving has become a huge part of people’s lives, from a consumer's perspective gifts serve as a way to create and maintain social bonds, and in turn, reinforce a deeply ingrained tradition and culture.
It has also been observed that gift-giving can serve many different functions as well.
Some examples are:
symbolic communication between the giver and receiver
A social exchange that aids in building and maintaining interpersonal relationships
An economic exchange which serves as obligatory reciprocal exchanges
A socializer which helps parents teach children about the customs of society
With all of these subconscious and alternative motives behind gifting, it’s fair to feel stressed or uncertain about purchasing a gift.
This feeling is so common that there is a descriptive term for it: giftophobia.
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Three forms of obligation:
- To give – The act of offering a gift to someone as a social gesture.
- To receive – Accepting the gift, which acknowledges the relationship between the giver and receiver.
- To repay – Returning the gesture in some way, creating balance in the relationship.
It should be noted that “to repay” is the most influential form in the gift exchange system.
This is because the idea of balanced reciprocity, or equal exchange between the gift-giver and receiver, is considered the ideal outcome of social exchange theory.
Positive effects of gifting
Prosocial behavior – Prosocial behavior refers to actions intended to help or benefit others.
When gift-giving is practiced as an act of prosocial behavior, it can strengthen interpersonal relationships.
Studies suggest that simply giving a gift can increase behavioral and neural connections between individuals.
In addition, prosocial behavior and gift-giving can create several positive effects for both the giver and the receiver.
Psychological effects – As mentioned earlier, gift-giving strengthens relational bonds and positively affects our psychological well-being.
Engaging in prosocial gift exchanges can even improve brain functioning.
Some psychological benefits of gift-giving include:
- Improves behavioral and cognitive efficiency
- Increases synchronization in specific inter-cerebral areas
- Enhances neural coordination among individuals
Mood-boosting effects – Research shows that people who engage in prosocial behavior are more likely to experience improved moods.
When we give or receive a meaningful gift, our brain releases happy hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.
These hormones are responsible for feelings of happiness, connection, and emotional warmth.
Social support benefits – Most gift exchanges are intended to preserve and strengthen social ties.
Gift-giving reinforces the feeling of reciprocity, which helps maintain strong relationships.
However, giving a careless or thoughtless gift can weaken social connections.
Because gifts carry symbolic meaning, an inappropriate gift may unintentionally harm the relationship.
Studies also suggest that choosing the wrong gift can negatively influence both platonic and romantic relationships.
In some cases, it may even make the receiver feel that there are no shared interests or understanding within the relationship.
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The perfect gift
Giving gifts allows us to communicate our feelings and appreciation towards someone in a physical form.
When we are unsure about a gift, it can sometimes be interpreted as thoughtless by the receiver.
But don’t worry! Research has identified six elements that help define a perfect gift.
Six principles of a perfect gift
- Illustrates true giver sacrifice – This refers to the effort the giver puts into the gift, including financial, physical, or time-related effort.
- Focuses on the recipient’s happiness – The main intention of the gift should be to make the receiver happy.
- Feels like a luxury – A perfect gift often feels special or beyond everyday items.
- Is appropriate to the recipient – The gift should match the receiver’s personality, interests, or preferences.
- Creates surprise – A thoughtful surprise can make the gift more memorable and meaningful.
- Successfully pleases the recipient – Ultimately, a good gift brings joy and satisfaction to the receiver.
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Perfect is Personalised
Considering all the factors that make a perfect gift, choosing the right one may seem difficult.
Fortunately, personalized gifts offer a simple solution.
Personalized gifts are recipient-centric, meaning they are designed specifically for a particular person.
They show effort, attention, and thoughtfulness, which helps strengthen relationships.
By giving a personalized gift, you tell the story of your relationship and express your feelings in a meaningful way.
Personalized gifts are also timeless because they hold sentimental value and can be cherished for a long time.
With personalized gifts, you can focus less on the stress of choosing the right gift and more on the joy of giving.
In today’s world, gift exchanges can sometimes feel stressful, but research shows that thoughtful gifting can strengthen relationships rather than harm them.
Personalized gifts increase the chances of making your gift meaningful and memorable while also providing psychological benefits for both the giver and the receiver.
As a timeless cultural tradition, gift-giving should continue to strengthen relationships and express appreciation.
With these psychologically based tips, you don’t need to worry about giftophobia or the stress related to choosing a gift.
Instead, you can focus on the people who matter most and enhance your relationships, one thoughtful gift at a time.
Haley Owens,
Psychology Blogger,
The Shared Secrets Lab,
GiftAFeeling Inc
The Shared Secrets Lab
GiftAFeeling's Shared Secrets Lab (TSSL) is the world's #1 R&D lab focusing in gifting-psychology, particularly corporate gifts, promotional products, and branded merchandise. Led by industry SMEs, globe thought leaders, and psychologists, TSSL helps organizations pick products that are meaningful and kept, rather than getting tossed out!
