Why is giving better? 

Promotes Happiness and Satisfaction

"Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process" quoted Jim Rohn.
There are countless ways to give and people show generosity from donating money or items to charity to giving thoughtful gifts to the ones we loved.

Empirical research done by Harvard Business School found that altruistic behavior such as gift-giving and charitable giving can promote happiness and well-being (Anik, Aknin, Norton, & Dunn, 2009).
Their studies examined the association between happiness level and prosocial expenditures.
Results indicated people who spent more on buying gifts for others and donations to charities were associated with higher levels of happiness.

Whereas people who spent more on paying bills/expenses and buying gifts for themselves had nothing to do with happiness (Anik, Aknin, Norton, & Dunn, 2009).
Besides, they also found that how people spend their money is more important than how much money they have spent.

Furthermore, according to self-determination theory, 3 components are fundamental for basic human needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
These are important for psychological well-being and intrinsic motivation.

Autonomy refers to people feeling like they are in control of choices and making informed decisions.
A sense of volition and self-governing of thoughts and behavior.

Competence is the ability to master tasks and apply knowledge to lists of skills and abilities.
People gain confidence when they achieve their desired goals.

Relatedness means the need to have meaningful relationships with others.
Being socially connected with others around them.

A study has found that prosocial spending promotes greater happiness when people meet all the 3 needs (Dunn, Aknin, & Norton, 2014).
The benefits of prosocial spending are greater when an individual feels that their decision to give gifts is controllable, is effective, and will have an impact on people whom they are socially connected with (Dunn, Aknin, & Norton, 2014).

Will happiness encourage people to engage in future prosocial spending?
The answer is yes.

The relationship between prosocial spending and happiness is bidirectional (Aknin, Dunn, & Norton, 2011).
Prosocial spending promotes happiness and this happiness increases the individual's long-term prosocial expenditure.

Thus, Harvard Business School's study also found that asking participants to recall the memory they spent on buying gifts for others evokes happiness.
Which in turn encourages them to continue to engage in prosocial consumer behavior in the future (Anik, Aknin, Norton, & Dunn, 2009).

Therefore, people are more likely to derive happiness and satisfaction when buying gifts for others.

How We Use Data to Pick Gifts People Actually Keep

An Altruistic Act

Altruism is associated with selflessness.
Altruism is the behavior of people putting the interests and wellness of others before one's own.

We do things purely out of a willingness to help, not because of ulterior motives, such as obligation, loyalty, or recognition.
There is no expectation of anything in return.

In a recent study by Velde (2017), she found out that pure altruism is not enough to explain human prosocial behavior.
Instead, "belief-based altruism" is the altruism we give to make people feel good, without or exceeding any objective and material standard of well-being (Velde, 2017).

Gift-giving is an example of belief-based altruism as we give gifts to show that we truly care about our favorite person.
Even a thoughtful little gift will make a huge difference for someone who is struggling with loneliness or mental health problems, especially during the pandemic.

This altruism can also apply to charities and donations.
For example, we go to a cupcake fundraising booth to buy cupcakes not only because we like cupcakes, but to support the charity group.

We also want the sellers to feel successful and experience joy.
When we donate money to help victims of wildfires, what matters is not the money but the thought that counts.

We hope to provide emotional support for the victims and the impact we will have on them.

Health Benefits

Perhaps most of us believe that spending money on ourselves is the ultimate way to make us happier and healthier.
However, spending money on others can maximize our health because it makes us feel we are socially connected.

Prosocial spending can lower your blood pressure and improve your physical health.
Research done by the University of British Columbia found that prosocial spending can lower blood pressure among older adults diagnosed with hypertension (Whillans, Dunn, Sandstrom, Dickerson, & Madden, 2016).

Besides, prosocial spending can foster subjective well-being by reducing psychological symptoms, such as anxiety and depression (Miles, Andiappan, Upenieks, & Orfanidis, 2021).
A recent study also suggested that providing social support can reduce stressful behavior and it serves as an effective coping strategy on a daily basis (Aknin, & Hanniball, 2017).

The Neurobiology of Altruistic Giving

Gift-giving, charity, and donations are various prosocial behaviors associated with altruism.
Altruism is also associated with reciprocity and rewards (Filkowski, Cochran, & Haas, 2016).

There are a few brain regions that are activated when people engage in altruistic behavior: ventral tegmental area (VTA), amygdala, anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) (Filkowski, Cochran, & Haas, 2016).

Researchers have found the mesolimbic pathway, including the VTA region and subgenual area were responsible for reward processing.
These areas were activated both when people making charitable decisions or "purely monetary rewards" (Moll, et al., 2006).

The mesolimbic pathway sometimes referred to as the reward pathway.
It connects the VTA to the cerebral cortex and regulates reward reinforcement from directed stimuli, food, desire, money, and drugs (Moll, et al., 2006).

The VTA is a group of neurons located in the midbrain, which contains dopaminergic (DA) neurons.
It plays a key role in reward reinforcement.

The subgenual area, also called Brodmann area 25, was not responsive in monetary reward.
Instead it was only active uniquely in donation-related financial decision-making and it plays a key role in social attachment and reward mechanisms (Pulcu, et al., 2014; Moll, et al., 2006).

It is important to acknowledge that when people make charitable donations, this area of the brain is more active.
It becomes more active than when they respond to monetary gain.

The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) is related to decision-making and empathy-related reactions.
This brain region allows people to make decisions purely related to the interest of others (Moll, et al., 2006).

Another brain region, dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC), was involved in processing emotional stimuli.
These include gratitude, altruism, and happiness.

It is also implicated in prosocial exchange mechanisms (Filkowski, Cochran, & Haas, 2016).

A recent study examined the neural activity in the DLPFC during a gift exchange experiment (Balconi & Fronda, 2020).
Their results showed an increase in oxygenated blood flow in the DLPFC when participants were engaging in prosocial behavior.

This evidence suggested prosocial behavior, especially gift exchanges, strengthen social interactions.
They do this by increasing individuals' emotional attunement, behavior, and neural coordination (Balconi & Fronda, 2020).

Moreover, research has found that individuals derive altruism and develop empathy through social interactions.
Empathy refers to feeling what others feel.

When individuals participate in social interactions, such as gift-giving or helping others, it makes them feel rewarded (Lahvis, 2017).

Oxytocin is a hormone that needs a stimulus to cause its release.
This stimulation could come from social interaction and altruistic behavior.

A study conducted by Marsh et al., (2015) examined the influence of oxytocin on altruistic decision-making.
This was studied in the context of ecological and social donations.

Researchers recruited volunteers and they were administered either a dose of oxytocin concentration or a placebo.
Participants were randomly assigned to ecological or social frameworks.

They also examined their willingness to donate to sustainable and non-sustainable goods (Marsh et al., 2015).
In their research, sustainable goods were based on social and ecological standards, such as food and clothing products.

Results showed that participants were willing to donate more under the influence of oxytocin.
Their donations doubled for socially sustainable consumer goods, including both food and clothing products (Marsh et al., 2015).

Oxytocin appeared to have an impact on social altruism.
There is also evidence showing oxytocin was associated with gratitude and social relationships.

The higher the oxytocin level, the more you are willing to give.
There is a strong connection between gratitude and selfless giving.

Our brain sends signals to specific regions when we engage in altruistic behavior.
These include gift exchanges, charities, and donations.

Those activated neural systems and the secretion of oxytocin hormone encouraged people to give more generously.
They also encourage people to become involved in more charitable giving instead of gaining money for one's own.

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Why is receiving harder?

Gift guilt

When it comes to gift-giving, people often worry that the gift they are giving is not equal to the value of the gift that they are receiving.
Gift guilt also occurs when people have nothing to give back when they receive the gifts.

It may also occur when they have no intention of buying one.

Two underlying psychological theories help explain the phenomenon of gift guilt.
These are Adam's Equity Theory and Expectancy Theory.

According to the American Psychological Association, equity theory posits that people yearn for a fair and balanced relationship.
Fairness is based on the notion that the time and energy that a person invests into a relationship will be rewarded.

When there is an imbalance or negligence in a relationship, people attempt to restore the equilibrium of that relationship.
Equity can be measured by the number of gifts.

It can also be measured by the amount, time, and effort required to obtain a gift (Manikowske, & Winakor, 1994).
People may feel guilty when they perceive an imbalance between what they receive and what the other person gives.

Expectancy theory refers to people choosing to behave in a certain way.
This happens because they believe their actions will bring desired outcomes and rewards (Andrade, & Barros, 2019).

For example, when a giver gives a costly gift, he or she assumes the recipient will reciprocate with an expensive gift in return.
Gift guilt arises when people are not prepared to return a gift of equal value.

A Sense of Burden

Gift-giving is important in interpersonal communication because it fosters connections.
When someone spends their time and money to buy gifts for themselves, we sometimes feel grateful.

However, this gratitude might feel like a burden rather than a gift when we don't need or like it.
There are some false beliefs about acceptance.

Some believe that in order to receive something, we must work hard to earn it.
Others believe that we must be independent and not be needy.

Some may think they are not worthy of this gift.
They may feel “I haven't done enough for them” and yet they are showering you with affection and love.

People feel burdened not because of the gift itself but the affection behind it.

Avoid power-relations

On the other hand, gifting can be a symbol of power.
Sometimes people give gifts to ensure their social status and rank in the social structures.

Gifts can symbolize obligations and responsibilities.
It serves multiple purposes.

These include pleasing the recipient, connecting a larger social network, signaling commitment, trust-building, and fulfilling social norms (Andrade, & Barros, 2019).

The stress of reciprocating giving occurs when people worry their gifts in return might lack perceived quality or quantity.
As a result, they fear losing their social status.

We expect to reciprocate giving based on social norms.
It can become demanding when this behavior turns into an assessment.

Ways to Overcome

Giving is an act of love and can lead to happiness.
Altruistic giving reflects gratitude and consideration of the giver to the recipient.

However, people believe that receiving is harder than giving because of the reasons mentioned above.
Therefore, there are ways to overcome the feelings of gift guilt.

To begin with, avoid overthinking by understanding the intention behind the gift.
Knowing the story behind the "gift" can help us avoid misunderstandings.

It also helps us graciously accept it without hesitation.
Accept the fact that you are worthy of this love.

Besides, appreciate it and feel its warmth rather than focus on the gift itself (Dwyer, 2021).
Try to change your focus by thinking that the person wants to give the gift to you.

Instead of thinking that he or she is devoting their time and effort to you (Dwyer, 2021).
This may make you feel less stressed when receiving the gift.

In addition, a gift is never meant to carry obligations or requirements.
It is important to remind yourself not to stress too much about finding the "perfect" gift defined by social norms.

Gifts create balance.
The intention of reciprocate giving is about exchanging unequal values.

The power of reciprocate giving is all about love and care.
It does not matter when your friends give you a costly gift and you give them their favorite homemade dessert in return.

Lastly, thank them sincerely for thinking and caring about you.
Everyone deserves to be loved.

We are allowed to receive care and respect from others.
It is common to feel uncomfortable when receiving gifts.

So let's find ways to reduce this stress and be grateful for the gift you received.

The Act of Giving and Creating a Harmony

A perfect "gift" does not always have to be physical.
It can be a gift to charity, a donation, or volunteering to help others in need.

Giving and receiving are equally important in human interaction.
One cannot happen without the other.

In every aspect of relationships, they are established on a constant exchange of giving and receiving.
Giving feels good because we feel like we are the first to invest effort into the relationship.

We may also feel we have influence over the recipient.
Acceptance is more difficult and challenging.

This is because we feel burdened and guilty when we accept the gift and feel we must give back in return.
We have always been told that giving is better than receiving.

Generosity can be its own reward.
The act of giving to others can refer to dedicating one's own resources for the benefits and wellness of others.

Generosity has been linked to societal success.
It also promotes one's emotional well-being (Poulin, Brown, Dillard, & Smith, 2013).

Prosocial giving provides opportunities to connect with others.
It also increases feelings of warmth, gratitude, and pleasure.

However, being able to receive with an open heart can also lead to a more nurturing and satisfying relationship.
Giving and receiving are complementary in our lives.

It is essential to seek a balanced "give-and-take" relationship.
Learning to balance is important for developing a healthy relationship.

It is also important for overall well-being.
Starting with simple giving, from a hug to a thoughtful gift.

The receiving can be as simple as saying "thank you".
Through the continuous practice of giving and receiving you will be able to deepen your relationship.

You will also bring happiness to yourself and your loved ones.

Megan Lee
Psychology Blogger,
The Shared Secrets Lab,
GiftAFeeling Inc