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Is it okay to treat yourself? A brief exploration of self gifting

Introduction
The benefits of gifting to others and self-care
Self-indulgence, Self-nurturance, and Self-control
Treating yourself
Conclusion

Introduction

W hen we think of gift-giving, we tend to think of our family, friends, and coworkers. We think of special events like birthdays or anniversaries which need to be celebrated. We purchase gifts to establish connections and to communicate our feelings to others. But, what about self gifting? Are we able to purchase gifts for ourselves the same way we do for others? Many research articles have expressed that gifting to others evokes more self-happiness than gifting to oneself. This research paper aims to explore the various notions surrounding self gifting. We will first reiterate the benefits of gifting to others on the giver’s happiness and review the idea of “self-care” within the mainstream media and its importance within the health domain. Then, we will explore the terms self-indulgence, self-nurturance, and self-control when it comes to self gifting. Lastly, we will look over behaviors associated with gifting yourself, delving into how this practice impacts personal well-being and self-perception.

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The benefits of gifting to others and self-care

A recent study by O’Brien and Kassirer found that repeated gifting to others provided individuals with more happiness compared to gifting to oneself. This was found to be due to the reinforcement of our social connection (O’Brien, & Kassirer, 2019). Interestingly, this insight opens up a dialogue about the balance between gifting to others and the concept of self gifting as a form of self-appreciation and self-care. Additionally, in terms of health, spending money on others, also known as prosocial spending, was found to have strong positive effects on cardiovascular health, demonstrating low blood pressure (Whillans, Dunn, Sandstrom, Dickerson, & Madden, 2016). Both of these studies emphasize the importance and the healthiness of having social connections. This is because we are social beings and we are inherently social. On the other hand, how about self-care? Self-care has always been present but has become increasingly more popular with the rise of mainstream media. According to the Pew Research Center, millennials were reported to make more improvements to their lifestyle than any generation before them, spending twice as much on self-care products (e.g., exercise and therapy). This trend highlights a shift towards 'gifting yourself' in the form of investing in personal well-being, illustrating a broader definition of self-care that goes beyond simple indulgence. It was suggested that this was due to the accessibility of the internet with the ability to ask the internet for self-care strategies (Rennis, McNamara, Seidel, & Shneyderman, 2015). As mainstream as it may seem, self-care is primarily significant to one’s physical and mental health. Self-care can be defined as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain or promote optimal health and well-being (Martínez, et al., 2021). Having good self-care strategies encourages better coping mechanisms for daily stressors and promotes the idea of self-love. However, a common misconception surrounding self-care is its misunderstanding as self-indulgence.

Self-indulgence, Self-nurturance, and Self-control

According to Merriam-Webster, self-indulgence is defined as an “excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's own appetites, desires, or whim” and nurturance is defined as “affectionate care and attention.” Self-indulgence can be seen through impulsive consumption in which happiness is “quickly” fixed, whereas self-nurturance is the prolonged action of maintaining happiness. This is not to say that we cannot treat ourselves, but there is an emphasis on self-control and moderation. Understanding the difference between impulsive self-indulgence and thoughtful 'gifting yourself' practices can enhance our ability to maintain happiness in a balanced way. According to Bernecker & Becker, the combination of self-indulgence and self-control guarantees greater outcomes through hedonic goal pursuit as it represents a “largely neglected but adaptive aspect of self-regulation (2021).” Additionally, Seltzer suggested that our lack of self-nurturance had to do with our belief system. He believed that from childhood, our parents did not nurture us to the amount we craved. He suggested that this, in turn, makes us conclude that we are not worthy of certain attention or things. Thus, to be successful when treating ourselves, we must learn to “see ourselves as worthy of all the things (2008).” We shouldn’t depend only on others when it comes to gifting, and to rather think of it as 'gifting yourself,' embracing the concept as “a gift from me to myself”. Through self-control and the idea of deservingness within self-nurturance, we are able to treat ourselves moderately to our happiness and well-being. But what types of self gifting behaviors are there?

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Treating yourself

There are two types of self gifting behavior: therapeutic and reward self-gifts (Heath, Tynan, & Ennew, 2011). Therapeutic gifts tend to occur after negative events to help one feel better, similar to self-medicating, whereas rewarding gifts often follow accomplishments, reflecting a belief in one's own deservingness. This concept of gifting yourself in response to personal achievements underscores the importance of recognizing and celebrating one's own successes. One is not more deserving or healthier than the other but demonstrates the different scenarios in which we may purchase self-gifts. Furthermore, there are two other categories of self gifts within therapeutic self gifting behavior. The first is escaping self-gifts, encouraged when one wants to escape a stressor or problem. This helps relax the individual and serves as a distraction. The other is loving oneself self-gifts, which are used to strengthen and support an individual’s self-esteem. Interestingly, gifting yourself as a form of loving oneself seems to center around our idea of self-nurturance, reinforcing the notion that we deserve a gift. Yet, escaping self-gifts seems to fall more into the realm of self-indulgence, a form of distraction. All forms of self-gifts hold meaning and value that are important to the self, but it is important not to get carried away. The specialness behind gift-giving is its interaction between the recipient and the giver through the gift, but if not careful, this could be lost if we were to over-indulge or over-gift ourselves.

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Conclusion

We are able to see the importance of gift-giving, especially through social interaction and connection when it comes to gifting to others, as it makes us happier. However, as we start to understand the significance of self-care and the reasons why we treat ourselves, we see that through self-control and self-nurturance that it is okay to engage in 'gifting yourself.' As much as gifting emphasizes our desire for healthy connections, we need to develop healthy connections with ourselves first through the gift of self-love. Yet, as mentioned towards the end, we must make sure not to confuse treating ourselves with over-indulgence and over-gifting, especially when it comes to certain self gifting behaviors as this loses the meaning behind the interaction.

Ally Hatcher
Psychology Blogger,
The Shared Secrets Lab,
GiftAFeeling Inc.

Read The Official Research Paper On - Is it okay to treat yourself? A brief exploration of self gifting

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What is self gifting?

Self gifting is when you treat yourself to a gift. It's a way to reward or pamper yourself, maybe for an achievement or just for some self-care. It's becoming more popular, especially during sales or holidays, as a way to celebrate personal successes or simply to enjoy a little indulgence.

2. Why is gifting yourself important?

Gifting yourself is important because it's a form of self-love and appreciation. It boosts your mood, acts as a reward for hard work, and serves as a reminder of your worth. It's not just about the gift, but the act of recognizing and celebrating your own achievements and well-being.

3.What is it called when you gift yourself?

When you gift yourself, it's called self gifting. This act is all about treating yourself, often seen as a form of self-care or self-appreciation. It's a personal reward or indulgence, a way to celebrate your achievements or just to give yourself a little happiness boost. It's acknowledging your worth with a gift.

4. Is it okay to buy gifts for yourself?

Absolutely, it's okay to buy gifts for yourself. Self gifting is a healthy way to recognize your own achievements and practice self-care. It's about rewarding your hard work and celebrating personal milestones. Treating yourself with a gift is a positive gesture of self-love and appreciation, reminding you of your worth.

5. What is the quote about gift to yourself?

  1. "Gifting yourself is embracing the belief: You deserve kindness as much as anyone else."
  2. It's about saying, "I am worthy of celebration and joy."
  3. Reflects the idea, "Self-care is not selfish, it's essential."
  4. Emphasizes, "Treating myself is a reminder of my value and achievements."
  5. Encourages, "Invest in your happiness; you're worth it."

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